The Process

Starts with my environment

In March 2020 I moved to Thompson Pass near Valdez, AK to work at a Heli Ski lodge. I took whatever job I could get in hopes to get on a heli to ski (which did happen and it was incredible). Shortly after I arrived, COVID19 took place and I was soon in quarantine up on the pass living in a yurt with 6 other girls from March-May. In May, I left Valdez, moved to Girdwood, I bought the cheapest vehicle I could find and since then, have had many adventures of camping in my Jeep and finding inspiration wherever I go. This is where the whale drawing began: 

The trigger

I was walking in Homer, AK and passed a shop with a humpback whale theme. It made me think about summer of 2019 when I was a whale watching guide and photography guide in Juneau, AK. I missed the humpbacks so badly that I positioned myself in my Jeep for the night and looked out at the water thinking about all the humpbacks below the surface.

The hardest part

Quickly I knew I wanted to draw a whale, but the creative fight is very REAL. How will I ever begin?? I started googling images online of humpbacks on my phone. I got one I liked and wanted to base my image off of, but still, I had to be the one to bring the pencil to paper. I say this is the hardest part, because it is. It is incredibly difficult for me to make those first lines with a pencil. I think this is why being outdoors in a beautiful place helps, because if the whole picture doesn't go well, it doesn't matter. I am enjoying the process, I am enjoying the moment.

The momentum

Usually when I start the drawing I feel like a complete fool. It looks so silly and cartoonish and not at all what I am hoping for. I wonder how in the world I am going to get from a few scribbles to a detailed real life experience for the viewer. What I do is I focus on one part of the animal, usually the part I want to be sure to get right. For the whale, it was the eye. I get VERY focused on the eye and make sure it looks as intense as it is in real life. A successful eye like this is what gets the detail ball rolling for me...

The flexible adventure

I mentioned the environment was important right? Well, what happens when I go to sleep with the whale drawing unfinished and I wake up and it is pouring rain and I cannot recreate that magical environment that I had the night before? I go on an adventure. I find a new special place. This here is a photo of me finding shelter from the rain in a log hut on the beach in Homer hoping to find that creative flow again...

The wrestle with flow

Okay, so I found a new beautiful environment, and I begin to focus in, but why does it not feel like the night before? Well, that is because it is a different moment and the flow will feel just a little different, or possibly not as strong. Flow is a special thing. It is those moments that don't feel like moments but feel like gifts from the universe. To me it is feeling magic, like I am able to touch stars or slide down a rainbow. Truly, that is how amazing creative flow feels to me. Shortly after this photo was taken the rain started pouring down. I decided the universe was telling me to move on, to trust the magical flow would come again.

Readjusting to roofs

Often I start my work outside in the sun and out of service, only to realize if I am going to finish the piece, I will need to find a flow and rhythm indoors and in civilization again... even if it is in a car or a plane. All of those things have roofs and walls and in a lot of ways make me feel confined, more anxious and eager to run for the hills, literally. I will pace around my kitchen, rummage through old art pieces, set up my place differently every day or two. I will genuinely get distracted every 10 minutes. Phone, social media, building this website... you name it. What I find works for me is music. It is the only thing that allows me to access the infinite like being outside does. That, and a good hearty sleep deprivation. I generally will work through the night, with just me, the music and the drawing. As nights pass, more detail takes hold and the music keeps playing until eventually, I feel ready to sleep normally again. No piece is ever done. Signing my name in general feels too final. But I do it so that I can make room for the next journey to create.